“You don’t remember where it goes,” Lowell said. “You write down where it goes. That’s the difference between a mechanic and a guy with tools.”
When everything was loose, I rolled the co-op’s engine hoist up to the front of the truck and hooked the chain to the engine. Lowell guided it from one side. Beryl, with his shaking hands, steadied it from the other.
“Easy,” Lowell said. “Easy. She’s coming.”
The 352 came up out of the engine bay slowly, swinging a little on the chain. Six hundred pounds of cast iron that had been sitting in that truck since 1966. Under it, the engine bay was a cave of dust and old grease.
I lowered it onto the engine stand, and we bolted it down.
Mom sat in her lawn chair the whole time, watching every bolt come out. She didn’t say much. Once, she got up and brought us glasses of iced tea. Once, she went inside and came back with a plate of egg salad sandwiches.
Around four o’clock, she said, very quietly, “Harlan would’ve liked this.”
Lowell looked at her. “Harlan would’ve been out here telling us we were doing it wrong.”
Mom laughed. It was the first time I’d heard her laugh since Sunday.
On Sunday, I took the engine apart on the stand in Mom’s machine shed.
When I pulled off the oil pan, I found exactly what I expected. The number six connecting rod bearing had spun in its seat. The soft bearing metal had worn away completely, and the steel rod had been grinding directly against the crankshaft. The crankshaft journal was scored and blue from the heat.
The rest of the engine was in surprisingly good shape. The cylinder walls were smooth. The pistons looked fine. The camshaft was barely worn.
Dad’s oil changes every three thousand miles, all written down in that little spiral notebook, had kept that engine healthy for thirty years.
All it took to ruin it was one Sunday afternoon on a gravel road.
On Monday, I drove the crankshaft and the connecting rods to the machine shop in Hastings, a small, dusty place run by a man named Gordy Bauer, who’d been grinding crankshafts since the Nixon administration.
He held the crank up to the light and turned it slowly, looking at the scored journal.
“Somebody ran this wide open,” he said.
“My nephew.”
“Racing?”
“On the gravel. Against the Hofmeister boy.”
Gordy grunted. “Kids think an engine is a light switch. On, off.” He set the crank down on his bench. “I can grind it ten under. Polish it. It’ll be good as new. Two hundred and eighty, plus the rods. Ready Thursday.”
“Thank you, Gordy.”
“Whose truck is it?”
“My mother’s. My dad’s, really. Harlan Brandt.”
Gordy looked up sharply. “Harlan Brandt? The ’66 with the two-tone?” He shook his head slowly. “I rebuilt the carburetor on that truck in 1996. Harlan sat right there on that stool and talked my ear off about the Huskers for two hours.” He picked up the crank again and looked at it differently. “I’ll do it for two-fifty. And I’ll have it Wednesday.”
I ordered the rebuild kit from the parts company in Lincoln that night, on my laptop at Mom’s kitchen table. Pistons, rings, bearings, gaskets, a new oil pump, a timing chain. $868 with shipping. I paid for it out of my savings account and wrote it down in a new spiral notebook. On the cover, I wrote the same thing Dad had written on his: F-100.
The total so far was $1,118.
Mom watched me type in my credit card number.
“Nora, let me pay for that.”
“No, Mom.”
“It’s my truck.”
“It’s my nephew who broke it,” I said. “And it’s my brother who isn’t here.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Have you called Kurt?”
“Not yet.”
“Are you going to?”
“When it’s done,” I said. “I want to tell him it’s fixed. Not that it’s broken.”
She nodded slowly. Then she reached across the table and put her hand over mine.
“Your father always said you were the only one of us who could fix anything,” she said. “He was right.”
The second Saturday, we washed every part by hand.
Josh at the co-op had let us borrow the big parts washer from the shop, a steel tub of solvent with a pump and a brush. We set it up in Mom’s machine shed. Lowell, Beryl, and I spent the whole day cleaning every piece of that engine. The block, the heads, the intake manifold, the oil pan, the valve covers, every bolt and washer and spring.
It’s slow, dirty, boring work. You scrub every surface with a brass brush in the solvent until it’s clean enough to eat off. Then you blow it dry with compressed air and wipe it down with clean shop rags.
Beryl couldn’t hold a brush steady with his tremor, so he sat on an overturned bucket and sorted bolts into coffee cans by size, peering at each one through his thick glasses.
“I used to be able to rebuild a carburetor blindfolded,” he said, a little bitterly. “Now I can’t hold a coffee cup.”
“You can sort bolts,” Lowell said.
“Any kid can sort bolts.”
“Any kid doesn’t know which bolts go where,” Lowell said. “You do.”
Beryl grunted, but he looked pleased.
Around noon, Mom brought out a pot of chili and a pan of cornbread and set it on a sheet of plywood across two sawhorses. We ate standing up, in our greasy clothes, in the cool shade of the machine shed.
“Evelyn,” Lowell said, “this chili is better than Harlan ever deserved.”
“He told me it was too spicy every single time,” Mom said. “Every single time, for fifty-one years. And every single time he had two bowls.”
Lowell laughed so hard he had to set down his spoon.
That afternoon, while we were scrubbing the cylinder heads, a car slowed down on the gravel road in front of the farmhouse.
It was Trace’s black Dodge.
He slowed down to almost a crawl, looking at the yard: the engine on the stand, the parts washer, the three of us bent over the heads, Mom in her lawn chair.
He didn’t stop. He sped up and drove on toward town.
“That the grandson?” Beryl asked.
“That’s him.”
Beryl adjusted his glasses and watched the Dodge disappear down the road in a cloud of dust.
“He’ll be back,” Beryl said.
“How do you know?”
“Because he slowed down,” Beryl said. “A boy who doesn’t care doesn’t slow down.”
On Wednesday, I picked up the crankshaft and rods from Gordy Bauer in Hastings. The crank was ground and polished to a mirror finish. The rods were reconditioned and boxed up neatly. Gordy’s bill came to $412 for everything, and he’d written at the bottom of the invoice in pencil: For Harlan.
That brought the total to $1,530.
That night, my brother Kurt called me from North Dakota.
“Nora, what’s going on with Dad’s truck? Trace called me last night. He sounded weird.”
“Weird how?”
“Like he’d been crying. He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. He just said, ‘Dad, I messed up Grandma’s truck,’ and hung up.”
I told Kurt everything. The Sunday. The section road. The eighty miles an hour. The spun bearing. The three hundred dollars on the kitchen table. The 352 block for his race car.
Kurt didn’t say anything for a long time.
“I’m going to kill him,” he said finally.
“No, you’re not.”
“He tried to steal Mom’s truck, Nora. For three hundred bucks.”
“He tried to buy a broken truck from his grandmother for less than it was worth,” I said. “It was a lousy thing to do. But it’s not stealing, Kurt. Mom said no. Or I said no for her. That’s the end of that part.”
“I’m going to pay for the engine. Whatever it costs.”
“No,” I said. “Trace is.”
Kurt was quiet.
“He’s twenty-two, Kurt. He works at the tire shop. He’s got a job. He blew the engine. He pays for the engine. Not you, not me, not Mom.”
“He doesn’t have fifteen hundred dollars.”
“Then he’ll pay it a little at a time. Like a grownup.”
There was another long silence on the line.
“You sound like Dad,” Kurt said finally.
“Somebody has to,” I said.
Before we hung up, Kurt said one more thing.
“Nora. Is Mom’s car insurance going to cover any of it?”
I’d already checked. I’d called Mom’s insurance agent, a nice woman named Patty Rezac at the State Farm office in Clay Center, on Tuesday.
“Comprehensive and collision don’t cover mechanical breakdowns,” Patty had said. “If he’d rolled it in a ditch, that’d be one thing. But an engine failure from wear or abuse isn’t covered by any auto policy I know of.”
Then she’d added, “Was Trace listed as a driver on your mother’s policy?”
“No.”
“Then you’re lucky he didn’t roll it,” Patty had said quietly. “If he’d hurt somebody racing on that gravel road, in a truck he wasn’t listed on, your mother could have been in real trouble. A lawsuit could have gone after her house.”
I’d sat in my truck in the co-op parking lot for a long time after that call.
I told Kurt what Patty said.
He swore under his breath.
“I’ll talk to him,” he said.
“Talk to him,” I said. “But don’t fix it for him.”
The third Saturday, we built the engine back up on the stand, piston by piston.
This is the part I love. It’s like putting together a watch. Every part has its place, and every part has to be exactly right.
First, we installed the new cam bearings and slid the camshaft in. Then the new main bearings. Then Lowell and I lifted the freshly ground crankshaft and set it gently into the block, like laying a baby in a crib. Then the main bearing caps, each one torqued to exactly ninety-five foot-pounds, in a specific order.
Then the pistons. I fitted each piston with its new rings, using a ring compressor, and slid it down into its cylinder. Then I attached the connecting rod to the crankshaft journal with the new rod bearings, and torqued each rod cap to exactly forty-three foot-pounds.
That’s where Beryl came in.
His hands shake now. They shake when he holds a coffee cup, a fork, a pen.
But not when he’s holding a torque wrench.
I watched it happen. I held each rod cap in place, and Beryl fitted the torque wrench onto the nut. And his hands went still. Absolutely, perfectly still. He pulled the wrench in one slow, smooth motion until it clicked at forty-three foot-pounds.
Click.
Then he moved to the next one.
Click.
Eight rods. Sixteen nuts. Sixteen clicks. His hands never shook once.
When he finished the last one, he set the torque wrench down on the bench and stared at his hands. They were trembling again, just a little.
“Huh,” he said softly.
“Beryl,” Lowell said. “You still got it.”
Beryl took off his glasses and wiped his eyes with the back of his wrist.
“Fifty years,” he said. “Fifty years, I’ve been torquing rod caps. My hands just know.” He laughed shakily. “Doctor told me I’d never do fine work again. I’d like to see that doctor torque a rod cap.”
Lowell put his big hand on Beryl’s shoulder and left it there.
That afternoon, we installed the new oil pump, the timing chain, the oil pan, and the cylinder heads with new head gaskets, each head bolt torqued in sequence to seventy-five foot-pounds. Then the intake manifold, the valve covers, and the water pump.
By six o’clock, the old 352 sat on the engine stand in Mom’s machine shed, clean and complete, painted Ford blue with a fresh can of engine enamel I’d picked up at the auto parts store in Hastings.
Mom came out of the house and stood in the doorway of the machine shed, looking at it.
“It looks new,” she said.
“It is new,” Lowell said. “Inside, anyway.”
“Can it go back in the truck?”
“Next Saturday,” I said. “And then you can drive it to the elevator.”
Mom pressed her hand against her mouth.
“Next Saturday,” she repeated.
By the fourth Saturday, word had gotten around the elevator.
I don’t know who told first. Probably Kenny Dvorak. Kenny can’t keep anything to himself. But by Friday, every man in the elevator coffee crowd knew that Lowell Fisk, Beryl Unger, and Nora Brandt were putting the engine back in Harlan Brandt’s ’66 Ford on Saturday afternoon in Evelyn’s driveway.
When I pulled into Mom’s yard at seven-thirty Saturday morning, there were already two pickups parked along the road.
By noon, there were eleven.
By two o’clock, pickups lined both sides of the gravel road in front of the farmhouse, from the mailbox to the corner. Half the elevator coffee crowd stood in Mom’s yard with their hands in their pockets: Kenny Dvorak, Bud Simanek, Duane Kohler, both Pospisil brothers. Elmer Voss’s son, Gerald, who’d sold Dad the truck in 1994. Gordy Bauer, who’d driven all the way up from Hastings. Patty Rezac from the insurance office, who’d brought a plate of brownies. Josh Pavlik, the co-op manager, who’d brought a cooler of pop.
Nobody did much. They just stood around in the yard in their seed caps and jackets, talking quietly, watching.
It was a bright fall afternoon, sixty-five degrees, with a high blue sky and the cottonwoods along the creek just starting to turn gold.
We rolled the engine hoist back out of the machine shed and lifted the rebuilt 352 off the stand. Lowell guided it across the gravel. Beryl walked alongside, steadying it with one hand on the valve cover. I worked the hoist.
Then we lowered it slowly back down into the engine bay of the red and white Ford.
Everybody in the yard stopped talking.
“Easy,” Lowell said. “Easy. Left a little. There. Now down.”
The engine settled onto its mounts with a soft clunk. I bolted the motor mounts. Lowell reconnected the transmission. Beryl, sitting on the front bumper, reconnected the wiring harness, reading each of Lowell’s masking-tape labels through his thick glasses.
Then the radiator. The fan. The alternator. The starter. The exhaust manifolds. The carburetor. Fresh oil, five quarts of 10W-30. Fresh coolant. New spark plugs and plug wires.
Lowell and Beryl stood beside me at the fender in their seed caps and flannel shirts, handing me tools one at a time without my having to ask. A 9/16 wrench. A 1/2-inch socket. A screwdriver. They’d done it for me when I was twenty-three and terrified and nobody else in the co-op shop would let me touch a wrench.
I leaned into the engine bay in my blue coveralls and tightened the last bolt, the one holding the air cleaner on top of the carburetor.
I straightened up and wiped my hands on a shop rag.
“That’s it,” I said. “It’s done.”
That was when a pickup I knew turned into the driveway off the road.
It was Trace’s black Dodge.
He parked behind the long line of pickups on the road and got out slowly.
He wasn’t wearing his backward cap or his racing team T-shirt. He wore a plain gray hooded sweatshirt and jeans, and he looked like he hadn’t slept. He walked up the gravel drive and stopped at the edge of the yard, at the edge of the crowd.
